No one likes a bully

He's been stalking me for months. His presence cold enough to chill me to the bone. He casts a dismal shadow over my day and has ruined at least four pairs of boots. And then, just like a bad dream he was gone. In his absence, she arrived. The world looked brighter, there was a song in my step (Pick Up the Phone by Dragonette) and my thoughts danced with visions of adorable new dresses and sunkissed tresses....

But suddenly, a recurring nightmare, he was back. He spat at her with his stone-cold venom and blanketed all surfaces with a dull gray film. Dashed were my hopes of freckles and a tan as the colour drained from my face, lips turning blue and fingertips to ice.
But this is the last time. The last time I reel against the wind; the last time my hair goes frizzy and staticky ice and cold; the last time I brush off the car only to end up with a soggy wet coat; the last time I contemplate Sorrel's and my parka; the last time I pretend-shovel; and the last pair of boots I lose to sick salt stains!

Old Man Winter, I'm talkin' to you! Quit being a bully, and Spring, dear, sweet Spring, man up and grow a pair!

Outta My Way, Thursday!

I need a break from my life. I really do. It's becoming physically evident. I'm fogged up, fogging tired, want to fog the dog - gah, the very fact that I am using the word "fog" to suggest the word "fu&k" paints a picture! I tapped, zapped, whacked. Even my body is rebelling. Deciding a massage would do me good yesterday, I was saddened to hear that my muscles are "like wood" and not in a good way that would suggest I've been working out... 'cause I haven't... whatever!

Hoping a little R&R&R in Boston will help this weekend. Rest - courtesy of a comfy suite at the Commonwealth Hotel near Boston University. Relaxation - courtesy of a Sunday spa afternoon in the city. And... Retail - courtesy of my wallet and my insatiable need to buy things that I don't need.

Truthfully, I'm more than excited to spend a few days agenda-less, just hanging out in a cool city. I love Boston. If you haven't been, it's worth a visit. It's a city that doesn't intimidate. It's cool without trying. Has great culture and makes it so simple to get up to speed on its incredible history you have no excuse not to learn something. And has amazing shopping, particularly Newbury Street which is lined with boutiques, restos and fab people watching.

Now if Thursday would seriously just hurry up and get out of my way, I'll be that much closer to fine...

Oh and P.S. re: my last post: I did buy the dress... and I LOVE it so much the cost per wear is irrelevant! (It's the long-sleeved lovely!) xo

To buy or not to buy, that is (always) the question

I've just discovered my new favourite designer: Milly. It's not often when a line sweeps me off my feet but this season's Kennedy's-Gone-Sailing-in-the-late-7os is too cute for words! Take a peek at the line and I'm sure we'll start fighting over who gets to buy what very soon.

Now, speaking of buying, when the term "cost per wear" comes to mind when contemplating a purchase, you know there's not a sale sign in sight. But when one is still thinking about said purchase nearly four days in a row since falling in love at first sight, calculating "cost per wear" seems rather efficient and responsible, if you ask me!

Ok, for argument's sake, lets say a really pretty, day-to-night, great-for-work-and-afternoon-cocktail, spring-to-summer, perfect-fit, colour-blocked, long-sleeved shift is $500 (just throwing out a number). If I wear that darling even just five times, it becomes a $100 dress, see? And, since it's February and there are at least six months I could wear said frock (even once/month), the cost drops even lower...

See gals, sometimes math can be fun! Sometimes using the cost-per-wear calculator means that purchases are actually free! Take, for example, my Hunter Wellies - avg price: $200. Have worn them at least 30 times since purchase, which puts them around $6. And, since the rainy season hasn't even begun yet, these adorable high-heeled rainbooties will soon be free or even cost negative dollars!

Well, I'm convinced! And excited for a new dress!

Cease and desist: foot in mouth

Hello foot, meet mouth. Oh, you know each other? Ah yes, you know each other quite well. Frankly, I'm not liking the nature of your relationship. It's becoming rather inappropriate to be seen together so often, particularly under the circumstances. A couple of quick reminders so we can continue our collective working relationship:
1) it's Sherry, not Shelly
2) that brand is owned by their competitors, not the people buying your expensive lunch
3) to be gracious is not the same as to have grace
4) Lil' John and Lil' Wayne are not the same person
5) not everyone wants to hear your story, particularly the CMO, no matter how interesting you think you are
6) stop talking the minute your brain says "stop talking" - seriously, even if it's mid-sentence. It's better than what you're about to say...
Embarrassed makes me look fat.

*New* Review: OPI for Sephora - Chic Print for Nails

In effort to add some youthful pizazz to my already SAD-affected February, I went on a mission to try the latest in nail trends: the nail print. Loving the look as seen in the pages of high fashion mags and US Weekly alike, I hit a few different Shoppers Drug Mart's but to no avail. Either they don't yet carry or I'm utterly behind the hipster chicks who beat me to the punch (fists closing on the cutest nails around, I bet). I finally settled in at Sephora and a set of 16 magenta and silver diamond patterned $20 nail prints. I couldn't WAIT to try them! And then I did... Here's hoping I save you $20.

The claim: "A breakthrough array of precut nail patches for extraordinary nails, instantly!"

What else you need to know: "One set of Chic Print for Nails contains 16 nail patches of varying widths, for a one-time application to fingers or toes. The nail patch is a solid-film material with an adhesive back that is activated by friction. The warmth from friction creates conformability, allowing the patch to fit over the compound curves of your nails and seal onto the nail bed. The patent-pending material removes easily by rubbing and peeling off."

What really happened: Not only did I look like I was wearing wrapping paper on my fingertips, the precut nail patches are really big, you need to cut them to size, which you would think would be simple, but sadly not. First was still too big, second way to small. Third bubbled and wouldn't get smooth on my finger once I got the size down and the fourth wouldn't stick at all... AND these bad boys only last 1-2 days.

The Verdict: Clearly teenagers have more time than I do. Too much work for not enough result. Pass on the print and save your $20 for a proper mani.

Fast Forward

Yes, shall we? Forgive me readers for I have sinned. It has been nearly four months since my last blog session... and there have been many sins, wins, dins and even a few gins...
Okay - here are the last few months in fast forward:

• Eight weekends spent at the cottage in the new cabin (so long one-bathroom shared between four-six people through paper-thin walls! helloooo personal space - a blessing for all parties involved!);
  
• Four days spent impersonating a celebrity soaking up the sunshine in champagne-induced giddyness in Monte Carlo courtesy of lil' sis's amazing employer;
  
• Two days in Paris playing frantic-tour-guide-on-a-masochistic-mission-to-do-most-on-foot "'cause it's the best way to see the sites!" All this while lil' sis feigned excitement at my deep knowledge of Rue De L'Arbre (where I stayed two years ago when I tried to blend in as a local);
  
• One wedding - to end all weddings
  
• One 32nd birthday (egads it was mine!);
  
• Two pregnancy announcements (egads, not mine!)
• XXXX glasses of wine, champagne, wine, champagne, wine...(to shcelebraaate the shchummer! whahoo!)
• One 30th Birthday - lil' sis
• and finally the last engagement is mine... no literally, it was my engagement!
  

That brings us to around nowish... After four years of wondering if he was the one, deciding he was the one, doubting he was the one and thanking my lucky stars he IS the one, it's official. I'm a crazy bride-to-be who hasn't changed any of the bad habits she swore she would "as soon as he pops the question." I'm talking about eating bad food, complaining about our house, not going to the gym, drinks during the week, driving to work... still doing all of it.
Which, as you may have guessed you smart little thing, is the reason I am writing again. The moment this gets posted, it's on the record and I'm accountable for all the things I say I'm going to do.
So here it is, My Oath to Myself:
I solemnly swear that from this moment on, pizza is no longer legal substance. Cheeseburgers, hamburgers, homeburgers and their French sidekicks, are on the No-Fly list unless accompanied by a Weight Watchers green light. Prohibition Sunday through Thursday just kicked in. (That goes for you too Prosecco. Save me the story about your bubbly lightness!) I will refuse to attend any and all birthday parties where Cake is invited, that bitch. I will go to the gym, walk home from work (at least twice a week), embrace the veggie bar and every time I reach to grab a roll during dinner, I give permission to anyone in my company to reach and grab one of mine.
This is my vow, Until the wedding!

summer, how i've missed you

Okay so I have basically all but skipped over winter/spring 2010 and mostly because nothing good comes of winter/spring unless you're everyone else but me. Congratulations to all the lucky ducks who: got engaged, got married, had a baby, had two babies, had someone tell you you were having a baby or two babies, had a baby birthday, bought a house, bought a car, got a new job, went back to a job, quit a job, took vacation, planned a vacation etc. etc. etc... All fantastically lovely things to happen to people... just not to me.

Alas, after an eternity of winter/spring 2010, summer is finally HERE! Now, some of you may argue that summer in Canada is still months away but I beg to differ. And here's Carly's top ten reasons why:

1. I left the office last week after 7PM and it was still sunny - when it wasn't raining


2. I wore a dress without stockings last week (albeit my legs looked straight out of Twilight and I wore closed-toed shoes but haven't had a tan or a pedicure since before Jack F-ing Frost messed with my happiness back in October 2009)


3. I am going for a pedicure tonight and plan to wear open-toed shoes tomorrow...yep, to work and no, will not be wearing stockings
   
4. I've already had dinner and drinks on the back patio at Caren's Wine Bar - a summer staple for delicious vino and a must-do if in Toronto even for just one drink!
   
5. I spent a weekend at the cottage and didn't have to hover around the hot stove wrapped in various animal pelts
   
6. Anxiety levels are at an all-time high with the realization I'll be forced to break up with those ten cushy pounds I've snuggled up to all of these long, cold winter months... we've gotten so close, it's hard to say goodbye - no really, it's hard...


7. I'm not wearing all black, all grey, light grey, dark grey, grey with black, black with navy, navy with grey... in fact, I am wearing a top that has a colour in it that I'm pretty sure qualifies as neon pink, no joke


8. I'm giving up on my au natural brunette phase in favour of some warm highlights - conveniently those lighter strands will serve double duty to cover the obnoxious silver sprouts


9. I have a little pot of herbs sitting on my balcony that haven't shrivelled up from frost bite (or lack of watering... mental note to do that tonight!)


10. All I want to do is shop for cute, bright, short, floral, checked, striped, solid, colourful, shoes, tops, bottoms, dresses, hats, shoes, sunglasses, lipsticks, bracelets, earrings, shoes and... shoes
    

Think it's going to be a hot summer and I mean that in the most literal and figurative of ways. How do you know when summer has arrived?