Monday, May 16, 2011

What's in YOUR makeup bag?

This weekend, in between trying to duck out of the damn rain, attending a sad excuse for a high school reunion (more later) and first-time wedding dress shopping (much more on that later), I took a long hard look at my bathroom counter, in particular, my make up bag. It was almost like I was looking at it for the first time. This clear plastic case is bursting at the seams. How did all that stuff end up in there?

Truth is, I know exactly how. I love makeup. Have loved makeup since I was a very, very little person. I can still remember the smell of my mother's Lancome red lipstick, blotted on the tissues she kept in her purse, with which she inevitably cleaned my messy face. I even remember the first time I tried mascara. It was Estee Lauder. I was 9.

But now I'm afraid my love has turned to obsession. I'm on makeup overload. The first step to recovery is admittance so here's a list of what is currently in my makeup bag. Please don't judge...
  • 6 blushes in varying shades of pink and coral (Cargo, Nars, Sephora brand, Benefit, MAC, Two Faced)
  • 4 eyeshadow quads in varying shades of browns/plums (2x Lancome, Marcelle, L'Oreal)
  • 4 eyeshadow individual pots (2x MAC, 2x Benefit)
  • 3 bronzers (Two Faced, Revlon, Lancome)
  • 5 lip liners (MAC, 2x Annabelle, 2x Quo)
  • 5 kohl eye liners and 1 liquid liner (Lancome, 3x Annabelle, L'Oreal)
  • 6 lip glosses (2x LipFusion, 2x MAC, Revlon, Victoria's Secret)
  • one tinted moisturizer, one brightener, 2 concealers, one foundation (Smashbox, Benefit, Tart, Philosophy, L'Oreal)
  • not to mention blush, eyeshadow, eyebrow, eyeliner brushes, sharpeners, hair elastics, bobby pins, and the odd barrette
I know, right?? Too much?? Do you think the folks at TLC will make a show about people like me? You know, akin to crazies that clip coupons 40 hours a week and end up with a basement full of wall-to-wall croutons...

To make matters worse, this hoard is only what one would find in my every-day makeup bag. There is also an entire makeup drawer (yes, I said drawer) in my bathroom. I can't bear to tell you what you'll find in there... Suffice to say it features a glorious rainbow of Tourquoise, Pink, Coral, Plum, Navy, Red, Brown, Green and Gold and myriad shimmers, mattes, glosses, sticks, stains, creams, powders and minerals. Add to that eyelashes of varying lengths (including ones avec les plumes) and you might not be faulted to wonder if you are indeed staring into the makings of a drag queen or circus performer.

Writing it all down, I am struck feeling somewhere between utterly ashamed and valiantly proud. Problem is, I love this stuff. I love every gleam, shine, shading and shimmer. I love every polish, charcoal, pencil and primer. It's going to take some tough love but I'm going to pare it down - at least the every day - to include only things I actually wear.

I'll post the before and after when I muster up the courage to do the right thing and part with the excess.

But I'm curious - what's in YOUR makeup bag? How often do you purge? How often do you restock? Your secrets are safe with me and the one other person who reads this blog ;)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

It's here....

And so it begins... tomorrow

Monday, May 9, 2011

The date is set...

In the absence of a firm wedding date, I have at least now booked a date to try on a wedding dress. I only wish Dukan had arrived already. Instead, I'm on a steady no-fun diet. Steady since about 11AM this morning anyhow...

As this will be my first foray into white-dress-ville, I thought I'd try to go in with a fraction of a direction. So what if I don't actually have a venue booked? So what if it's been six months since I got engaged? So what if I'm debating between February and October? Maybe all I need is the dress to push me into decisions.

I have decided to post some inspiration. (note to reader, particularly if reader is my mother: these are inspiration dresses, not final dresses and do not require comment, opinion or thoughts of any kind that are otherwise unsupportive). First up, Portia Di Rossi's stunning Zac Posen Cinderella dress is stunning. Playful, contemporary, sleek - pink perfection!

Up Next: Jessica Simpson's Vera Wang Stephanie lace strapless gown. That dress may have been the only good thing to come from that union.

I'm not a huge fan of hers but Demi Moore wore an incredible Versace to the Oscars last year. Save your questions as to why she was actually at the Oscars because I certainly have no idea. Likely not for her role in Charlie's Angels I'm
sure... Just picture it in white! Le love!

Also fell in love with this Zac Posen 20's throwback when Gwyneth Paltrow wore it to the Oscars in 2007. That was back when she was still an actress and not a pontificating Goop-y mum who only eats things that end in organic and fears a sense of humour. Again, picture it in white... sigh

Finally, a non-celebrity inspirational dress. Whoever this woman is, I want her life. Married in Paris near the Opera in this incredible gown and mouth-watering shrug. I can't actually tell if I love the dress or just want to marry the jacket. Either way, this is the true inspiration for my wedding. Je Suis Tombé Amoureuse!!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

So it's come down to this...

Another attempt at the dreaded "D" word. This time, it's double D. Say it with me now: Dukan Diet. This is some serious business, people. Have you heard anything about it? The world is reporting that the lady Middletons (mom included) have Doc Dukan to thank for those little middles that were enviously ogled by 2 billion pairs of peepers around the world last week. True story, at least that's what the tweeps say.

Now, while the audience reach of my upcoming nuptials will be slightly fewer than those of the newly appointed Duchess of Cambridge, I will be nonetheless as fanatical about their opinions of everything I select - hair, dress, venue, husband... you understand, oui?

The double D suggests I have a "true" weight that is approximately 17lbs lighter than where I currently sit, albeit on my rather comfy, squishy ass. I truly wonder if I have it in me to do it. I hate diets. I get righteously angry and irritated, miserably deprived. Then I start reading Dove soap-inspired "I am Woman, I love my fat body, it's who you are inside that counts" baloney and fall right back off the hunger wagon into a pile of hamburger-chocolatebar-bottleofwine self indulgence and alas, the cycle begins once more. It's the battle between the "My pants don't fit agony and My pants fit ecstasy."

I, for one, often prefer ecstasy over agony but why is it that you can't have one without the other? In order to experience the happiness I so desire (which is avoiding back crack at all expenses - you know, when girls are squeezed into a dress so tight their back looks like a bum?), one must endure the agony of getting there. How to maintain focus is the question. Do I recite the unbelievably callous but oh-so-apropos Kate Moss quip: "Nothing Tastes as Good As Skinny Feels"? Or do I hide away for the next two months like a hermit just to avoid temptation?

At the very least, I'll have learned a lesson in will power. At very best, my husband-to-be will still want to marry me in spite of the size of my backside and the mood swings coming his way.